A man once walked past an elephant camp and noticed something strange.
The huge elephants were not kept in cages or held by chains. The only thing keeping them from escaping was a small rope tied to one of their legs.
They could easily use their strength to break the rope and run away. But instead, they remained standing still, bound by a simple piece of rope.
Curious, he approached a nearby trainer and asked why the elephants never tried to escape.
The trainer replied:
“When they were young, we tied them with the same size rope. But at that age, they weren’t strong enough to break free. As they grew up, they continued to believe that they couldn’t. They still think the rope can hold them, so they never even try.”
The only reason these elephants didn’t escape was that they believed it was impossible. Their minds were trapped in the past by their own beliefs, preventing them from changing their future.
Like the elephants, we sometimes hold ourselves back, because of the beliefs we’ve carried for years. These beliefs – also called limiting beliefs, whisper in our ears that “you are not good enough”, “you will never succeed” or “this is not meant for you”.
And over time, we stop trying. We give up on our dreams.
But the thing is: Your limiting beliefs are all lies.
And the only way to uncover the truth is to break free from them.
So how do we do that?
In this blog, we will introduce to you 4 steps to deal with your own limiting beliefs, so you can take back control and move toward the life you truly desire.
So, what are limiting beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are the thoughts that prevent you from pursuing your goals and desires – whether it’s following your passion, applying for your dream job or seeking the love of your life.
They stop you from experiencing new things and enjoying life to the fullest.
Limiting beliefs set boundaries and keeps you within your comfort zone. They enter deep into your subconscious and influence the ways you think, say and do.
They hold you back from becoming the person you aspire to be.
Just like the elephant stuck in the circus, limiting beliefs keep you in the same place without you even realizing it.
Here are some of the common limiting beliefs:
- I am not good enough…
- I am not beautiful enough…
- I am too old / too young to do…
- I have never done this before, so I am going to fail
The truth is, these beliefs do not reflect reality. They are just barriers you create for yourself.
Why do we have limiting beliefs?
In most cases, limiting beliefs are unconscious thoughts that appear as defense mechanisms to protect us from possible disappointments, failures, and negative emotions.
In the past, you might have been through unexpected experiences that you don’t even want to remember.
And now, when you face a similar situation, your subconscious tries to prevent that situation from happening again. That’s why one of the most important steps to effectively remove limiting beliefs is to find their root cause.
Besides, limiting beliefs can stem from many causes:
- Personal experiences: Unpleasant past events can shape certain mental barriers
- Family influences: The way you were raised, the ideas and behaviors you observed and reinforced over time
- Living environment: People around you and the way they impact your mindset
- Society: Social norms and expectations can create limiting beliefs
- Social media messages: The narratives you consume daily can affect your thinking
However, you can replace your limiting beliefs with more empowering and positive thoughts. By shifting your mindset, you can transform your life.
How to overcome limiting beliefs?
Breaking free from limiting beliefs isn’t easy, because they have existed and ingrained deeply in your subconscious for a very long time. But with high commitment and determination, you can do it.
Here’s how:
Identify your limiting beliefs
Spot hidden beliefs holding you back
Many of us have limiting beliefs that we don’t even know their existence. You can identify them by asking yourself:
- What negative thoughts frequently arise when I face challenges?
- What do I always tell myself when thinking of the future?
The thoughts that show up in your mind at these moments can be your limiting beliefs.
Each person may have more than one limiting belief at the same time. And that’s normal. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, work on one belief at a time.
Developing self-awareness is key to identifying limiting beliefs. You can do this by journaling, talking to a trusted friend or a family member, or working with a professional to uncover and address them.
Understand their impact
Now you are aware of your limiting beliefs. Think of the way they have been holding you back:
- What opportunities have you said “no” because you thought you were not ready?
- How much time have you wasted procrastinating because of these beliefs?
Find their root causes
Limiting beliefs don’t appear out of nowhere. Think about your past experiences, what made you believe this in the first place?
The reason can be:
- A negative comment from your friend?
- Your failure in the past?
- A rejection from someone in your family (who told you that you can’t)?
Finding the root cause of your belief is the key to eliminating it.
Challenge your limiting beliefs.
Once you have identified the limiting belief as well as its cause, the next step is to challenge that belief.
Asking yourself:
- Is this belief actually true? What evidence supports it?
- Have I always thought this way? If not, what has changed?
- Is there any evidence that contradicts my belief?
- What if I thought the opposite of this belief?
- Does this belief help me get closer to my goals?
- How would I think about this belief if I were someone else (Ex: someone I admire?)
These questions help you open and even change your perspective about a topic. When you answer them – either in your mind or on paper, you will realize that your belief isn’t as true as you once thought. This shift in perspective can help you replace your old beliefs with more empowering ones.
Gather all the pieces of evidence from past experiences to prove that your limiting beliefs aren’t true. If you can’t find any evidence, you can come up with reasons why they might not be true. You don’t need to convince yourself 100%, just look for the reasons that challenge the validity of those beliefs.
For example: If you think you are not good enough to apply for a position, make a list of achievements you acquired. The list will help you realize that your limiting beliefs don’t reflect your ability.
The more you question your beliefs, the more you will realize that your fears are unfounded.
Rewrite your story
Challenging limiting beliefs is tough, but once you do, you’re halfway there.
Now, replace the old and unuseful beliefs with the empowering ones.
Example:
Limiting belief: You think you are not good enough for the new position
New belief: I have a solid foundation of knowledge. By continuously improving my skills, I can confidently take on this role.
Shifting your mindset won’t happen overnight. The time you spend thinking and living with the old beliefs has created a strong emotional attachment with them.
But with effort and courage, you can reshape your thoughts.
Take action
A belief only becomes a reality when you take action. Start with small steps to prove to yourself that you can break through.
For example:
Your limiting belief: I am too old to pursue my passion
Your new one:
It is never too late to start. With my effort and dedication, I can pursue my passion and make my dreams come true
And now, make a plan with specific actions to support your new belief, like: I will spend 15 – 30 minutes per day learning new things.
You don’t have to start big. Setting goals too high can make you overwhelmed. The key is to start small and get used to it.
So, be proactive. Take on new projects you haven’t had much experience with, try things you have never done before, and step out of your comfort zone.
Apart from these above steps, another highly effective way to discover and overcome your limiting beliefs is to work with a professional life coach.
At Me&We, our team has helped a lot of individuals identify and eliminate their limiting beliefs over the past 10 years so that they gain back their confidence to find a dream job, embrace happiness, or simply live a peaceful and fulfilling life.
If you need a professional and reliable companion in your self-growth journey, start with us today.
“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.”
Your beliefs shape your life. Instead of allowing limiting beliefs to hold you back, learn to challenge and break free from them.
A new belief can be the beginning of a new life.
Tina Writes. 