“What is your life purpose?”
This is the question most of our clients get stuck on when asked. They are stunned for a few seconds, and then it takes them some more minutes to find the right words to say.
Finding your life purpose is the most common advice that we hear a lot from the elders, from self-help books or the movies. Yet, what does it actually mean? While some are lucky to discover it early in life, others spend their whole life searching for it.
So, how to discover your purpose in life? In this article, we’ll walk you through actionable steps to help you uncover a deeper sense of meaning in life.
Why is finding your life purpose important?
Minh came to Me&We last year.
At that time, he was a developer at an IT company in a big city. He had a stable job with a high salary. He has a happy family. His friends admire his “perfect” life. But deep inside, he felt empty.
Every day felt the same. He woke up knowing exactly how his day would happen, just like a pre-written script. He tried traveling, meditating, and reading self-help books, but nothing changed.
“I got lost,” he told us. “Some mornings, I just lay still in bed, stare at the ceiling, and wonder if there’s something more. But then, I repeat the same routine as yesterday.”
Minh’s story is a perfect example of why finding your life purpose matters.
Simply put, your life purpose is like a compass guiding you toward a meaningful life. Without it, you feel disconnected and unfulfilled. No matter what you do, you can’t find happiness in it.
But when you figure out your true calling, you awaken the potential and unlock your passion and excitement inside you. You start making an impact and feeling more connected with yourself and the world.
According to research by Martin Seligman (the father of Positive Psychology), people who find meaning in their lives are 30% happier than those who do not have a clear purpose. Also, a 2022 Harvard research shows that people with a clear purpose in life live an average of 7 years longer than those without.
Source: Unplash
But the real challenge is… How do you find it?
Well, the journey isn’t easy…
Imagine the journey to discover your meaning and purpose is like a treasure hunt. Along the way, you will face many obstacles, like monsters or volcanoes.
Of course, there are no real monsters or volcanoes. Instead, they are:
- Certainty and Comfort Zone: We, as humans, crave certainty because it makes us feel safe. It protects you from the feeling of hurt and anxiety, mentally and physically.
But at the same time, they hinder your personal growth as well. Fear of change traps you in unfulfilling jobs, toxic relationships, and routines that no longer serve you.
It holds you back from experiencing new possibilities and keeps you stuck in an empty life.
- Limiting beliefs:
Thoughts like “I am not good enough” or “I don’t deserve happiness” create self-doubt, leading to negative behaviors like self-sabotage, procrastination, or fear of failure/rejection.
Just as certainty and comfort zone, those beliefs prevent you from taking steps toward a meaningful life.
- Negative self-talk: Words have power, and how you speak to yourself matters. If you constantly criticize yourself, doubt your abilities, or believe you cannot make a change, you reinforce your limiting beliefs. Breaking free from this cycle is the key to unlocking your potential.
It’s not easy to defeat these internal barriers. But once you do, you’ll find your treasure.
And your life will change.
So, how to find your purpose in life?
Identify your values
Your core values are the beliefs that shape your decisions and priorities and guide your sense of purpose. Identifying these values is the first step in defining your life purpose.
At first, Minh struggled to understand why his life felt meaningless while he had everything others considered “ideal.” After working with our coach, he identified three core values that truly mattered to him:
- Contribution & Helping Others – Minh feels happiest when he supports others in their growth, especially young people.
- Growth & Learning – He constantly seeks self-development and wants to inspire those around him.
- Meaning & Positive Impact – Minh wants his work to make a real impact on people’s lives, rather than just working for money or status.
And Minh realizes that his life only feels meaningful when his decisions align with these values. Everything became clearer.
Source: Unplash
So, how can you identify your core values?
1 – Observe people whom you admire: When you admire someone for their qualities, maybe those qualities are what you highly appreciate
2 – Reflect on your experience: Remember your good and bad moments to see what they reveal about you and what you value.
3 – Find your passion (or things you love to do): Ask yourself: If I had unlimited time and resources, what would I dedicate my life to?
We shared a full guide on how to identify your core values here.(link)
Once you’ve known what you value, ask yourself:
- Do my daily actions reflect these values?
- If not, what small changes can I make to honor them more?
Answering these questions will help you discover how to put your values into your life.
And when you start making decisions based on your values, you will naturally feel more purpose-driven, energized, and fulfilled.
Cultivate a growth mindset.
A growth mindset helps you transform limiting beliefs and negative self-talk into opportunities for learning and improvement.
Unlike people with a fixed mindset, who believe their abilities are limited and tend to blame external factors for their circumstances, those with a growth mindset take responsibility for their own lives. They believe that, by changing themselves, they can change the world around them.
They don’t avoid challenges; they embrace them as opportunities for growth.
For example, instead of seeing failure as something negative or unacceptable, they view it as a valuable lesson that provides insight and brings them closer to their success.
How can you cultivate a growth mindset?
1 – Challenge your self-talk: Pay attention to your negative thoughts and replace them with more powerful and positive messages
2 – Surround yourself with positive community: Spend time with people who inspire you and support your personal growth
3 – Keep learning: Read, listen to various sources, and engage in activities that expand your knowledge and challenge your thinking.
By cultivating a growth mindset, you free yourself from limiting beliefs, become more resilient, and open yourself up to new experiences that life sends you.
Reflect on your past experience.
Your past experiences hold powerful clues about your true purpose. They can tell you something about yourself.
Take a moment to look back and ask yourself:
- What are the things you enjoy doing? What aren’t?
- What are the things that make you uncomfortable to do?
- What experience have you been doing well?
These reflections help you identify your strengths and passions and remind you of the potential you may have, but you have just forgotten.
Feeling inspired or motivated when you do what you love will be much easier. You grow without being forced.
It is even more powerful when you know how to combine your passion with the common good of the community.
One thing to keep in mind is your life purpose doesn’t have to be something big. It can be something small, but it still brings you joy. And by consistently doing things that make you happy, you create momentum toward discovering what truly gives your life meaning.
For Minh, this activity helps him realize that he really enjoys conversing with the younger generation because he knows his sharing could help them overcome challenges.
How can you apply this in your life?
- Daily journaling: Write about past experiences that made you feel fulfilled, energized, and proud. Practice daily, you will find the patterns.
- Ask for feedback: Sometimes, others can see what you can’t see in yourself. Ask your family, your colleagues, and your friends what they think you’re naturally good at.
Source: Unsplash
Step out of your comfort zone.
If you haven’t found your passion yet, it’s okay.
It is never too late to explore what you love.
However, stepping outside your comfort zone to experience unpredictable things can feel daunting.
The question is: Is it worth trading stability for uncertainty?
There is no right or wrong answer for everyone.
Only one thing is certain: If you never try, you will never know.
To start, try small activities you can do on your own: drawing, cooking, singing or gardening,… Online classes make it easy to explore new interests at your own pace.
Once you find comfort and gain confidence, join a community. Engaging with like-minded people sharpens your skills and gives you a sense of belonging and purpose.
There is no one way to start, so choose the one that fits you.
The more experiences you gather, the clearer your purpose will become. You have more perspective and understand more about your values and beliefs. Especially, you create a great impact on people around you.
So, what is the first simple step you can take to experience new things?
Practice self-compassion
Finding your purpose in life is not a linear journey. It is filled with trial and error, and adjustments.
Practicing self-compassion helps you handle setbacks without being too hard on yourself. It allows you to embrace your imperfections and gives you more strength to explore the world with an open heart.
Self-compassion helps you focus on your own journey instead of getting caught up in social pressure or other people’s expectations.
When you are kind to yourself, you silence the external noise, making it easier to listen to your inner voice and find what truly matters.
And that is the key to discovering your purpose in life to the fullest.
Source: Unsplash
How to practice self-compassion:
1 – Be kind to yourself: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer your best friend.
2 – Forgive yourself: No one is perfect, and making mistakes is just a part of your growth. Forgive yourself, and learn to accept yourself with all the flaws and imperfections.
3 – Practice gratitude: Focusing on what you have instead of what you lack shifts your perspective to the positive things in your present life. A study from Yale University shows that keeping a gratitude journal can improve life satisfaction by up to 25%.
And there is a shortcut…
Sometimes, self-discovery can be overwhelming. If you need guidance, professional support can help speed up the process.
At Me&We, we have different options tailored to your needs:
- Identity Package (link): Our coaches will help you identify your core values, overcome your limiting beliefs that hold you back, and remove your negative emotions to live with your full potential and design the life you desire.
- Journey of understanding (link): This short course is designed to help you understand yourself and those around you. By improving your communication skills and emotional intelligence, you can build healthier relationships with others.
Back to Minh’s story. He is currently living the meaningful life he always wanted. He joins the training team to support new employees in their growth. At the same time, he started a side project: a Facebook community connecting people passionate about cultural values, where they collaborate on projects to support local artisans in Vietnam.
Finding your life purpose is a lifelong journey that requires bravery, resilience, and patience. Ones who dare to step out of their comfort zone and embrace challenges will reap the rewards.
So, what will you do today to wake up feeling truly alive and fulfilled every morning?
Tina Writes. 